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Friday, May 12th, 2006
4:08 pm - FUN!
I was sick to death of people telling me my hair looks like Marly McKinnon's. I mean, her hairstyle is made with curlers and my curls are natural, but it was time for a change. I'm going to be 15 in August, so I didn't want to be running around with ringlets like a 12 year old. So Alecto and I decided to give each other makeovers... Jason and Serj watched us and gave us some input about what they liked best. Interesting to get a male viewpoint... my hair looks better now, I think, thanks to a little Sleakeazy's Hair Potion. And it was loads of fun teaching Alecto all about cosmetics and things. I do wish she'd stop thinking she's ugly. I think she's really pretty... all that lovely long dark hair, even lovelier than Bella's.

I think I'll be happier without all the frizz, somehow. And yes, Asmodeus DOES still recognise me.

current mood: happy

(Pet Asmodeus)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
11:04 pm - Still more private thoughts...
When I think about it, I realise that I may be one of those rare people who can fall in love with more than one person. I mean, my heart still flutters at the very thought of Eveline. And yet... I'm strangely drawn to Alecto too. I meant to just use her as a means to take the heat off Eveline and me, and maybe cultivate a friendship, but there's far more to her than I ever thought. I can talk to her about absolutely anything, from the Egyptian Dark Lords to who we find cute at school. She seems to like both boys and girls, from what she's told me. She even thinks Malfoy is cute, apparently... MALFOY!!! Well, maybe I'd have liked him if he was a girl - he'd have made a very pretty girl - but he's not one. I remember seeing a picture of his mother once, so beautiful... I wish I could have known her. Actually, it's a pity Malfoy and I absolutely can't stand one another.

I even find it easy to talk to Alecto about my dreams. I've been having such strange dreams lately... this recurring one in particular. That I'm grown up and married, of all things - I have both a husband and a wife - not Eveline, though, this woman is younger, and white... and I have a daughter and a son. My daughter dark haired and graceful, yet strong, like a warrior angel. My son... slender and blond, and strangely fragile somehow. I have to protect him...from something, I'm not quite sure what. I wonder if dreams can be prophetic, like Eveline believes they are?

Oh, and the weirdest thing! Asmodeus actually seems to like Alecto's cat, Baby. Usually he can't abide other cats. Wonder if it's kitty love and we'll hear the pitty-pat of little kitten paws one day? How sweet!

I must tell Alecto how Asmodeus got his name. It's quite a story... she'll probably not believe who I'm descended from! It's not something I talk about a lot... it's not many people's business, really.

current mood: fluttery

(Pet Asmodeus)

Monday, May 1st, 2006
11:56 pm - Private Thoughts
I'm going to have to keep my eyes and ears open. Find out who the hell it was who made that complaint about Eveline and me, and make them pay.

But first... I'm working on something to throw them off the scent. Pretending to date Jason Travers didn't work - everyone knows I don't like boys that way, even effeminate ones. So I've got to find a girl my own age and pretend to be interested in HER. Not an easy task. Most of the girls in my age group are boy-crazy. Except for Alecto Carrow, who's just plain crazy.

But... she seems the likeliest candidate. She would be quite nice looking if she just brushed her hair and put on some better clothes. And she's the only girl in the Slytherin Quidditch team - that's quite an achievement.

What the hell - I'll send her an owl and ask her if she wants to do something. She can only say no, after all...

current mood: devious

(Pet Asmodeus)

Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
5:34 pm
Private to Slytherin StudentsCollapse )

Private to SnapeCollapse )

current mood: annoyed

(1 naughty kitty scratch | Pet Asmodeus)

Monday, July 4th, 2005
10:50 pm - After the incident... private thoughts
I wake to find Asmodeus mewing anxiously and nudging my face with his little pink nose.

Oh gods, my head HURTS. What the hell happened?

I was seeing Professor Grimsby about... something... can wait till another time... and some kind of incident with Lucius... will check tomorrow to see if he's OK.

Snape... was there. Some kind of spell. Damn. I am going to KICK HIS ARSE when I see him next.

It's dark. Very dark. Must be way after midnight...

I was supposed to be meeting Eveline!!!

"Oh FUCK!" I whisper out loud. And that's not a word I use lightly.

I missed my tryst with her. She's going to be furious. She'll never forgive me...

Shitdamnfuckinghell. I am so SCREWED.

current mood: OH FUCK!!!

(Pet Asmodeus)

Thursday, June 30th, 2005
12:47 am - Meeting with Professor Grimsby
At the appointed hour I arrive at Professor Grimsby's office and knock politely. Asmodeus is with me, rubbing reassuringly against me as I wait.

Plenty of time before my - meeting with Eveline. It will be good to get my thoughts together, get some perspective on what I'm feeling in general with an outside opinion.

current mood: determined

(15 naughty kitty scratches | Pet Asmodeus)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
1:02 am - Private Thoughts
I can't concentrate on my homework. Even my beloved Egyptians and Asmodeus' snuggling against me and purring can't distract me from the blur of feelings in my head.

It's true. I wasn't deluding myself.

SHE. WANTS. ME.

I'm not going to tell anyone, of course, but I would like to discuss my feelings in general about girls, boys and the whole damn thing with someone....

Owl to Professor GrimsbyCollapse )

current mood: contemplative

(2 naughty kitty scratches | Pet Asmodeus)

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
10:50 pm - Private thoughts and an owl
Private ThoughtsCollapse )

Owl to LuciusCollapse )

current mood: Slytherin!

(5 naughty kitty scratches | Pet Asmodeus)

Friday, June 10th, 2005
11:59 pm - Private Thoughts
I wish that this Squibpox thing would get cleared up, and SOON. I'm starting to miss a lot of those kids - well, maybe not McKinnon and the other stupid Gryffindorks.

I sent flowers and chocolates to Madame Moreau, wishing her a speedy recovery. She sent me a nice little note of thanks... I hope I wasn't too gushy in my letter to her.

current mood: seriously crushing!

(Pet Asmodeus)

Saturday, June 4th, 2005
10:00 pm - Private Thoughts
Well BLOODY HELL.

Had a letter from Mother today, and the upshot of it is, she'd like to see me a little more interested in boys.

Oh, she's fine with the fact that I prefer girls, and she's not expecting me to SLEEP with boys - I'm far too young to sleep with anybody, anyhow - she'd just like to see me DATING them, maybe finding a nice gay boy and eventually having a marriage in name only, with the moral climate that's creeping into the Ministry these days... what I'm hearing is that my parents are being made nervous by the likes of the Crouches, who are obviously being influenced by the Muggleborns and the attitudes they're bringing into our world. Damn it, I wish my parents would make a stand for our pure-blood heritage. Even joining the Dark Lord would be better than sucking up to our sorry excuse for a Ministry of Magic.

GAH. I wish Bellatrix was here to talk to. I miss her.

current mood: pissed off

(Pet Asmodeus)

Monday, May 30th, 2005
9:38 pm
Does anyone know what's going on with all these people getting sick? Is it true that Madame Moreau's ill too? Maybe I should send her flowers or something... I doubt if I'll be allowed to go and see her if everyone's contagious.

current mood: anxious

(1 naughty kitty scratch | Pet Asmodeus)

Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
9:27 pm - Trying to write to Bellatrix... and being distracted
Private ThoughtsCollapse )

current mood: frustrated

(Pet Asmodeus)

Sunday, May 8th, 2005
2:10 pm - Private Thoughts on Returning to School
I'm actually glad to be returning to Hogwarts for another term. Home was so sad this summer - all I could do was miss Andromeda, although I tried to be happy at my own and Jason Travers' birthday parties. He loves the doll I gave him, and I adore the figurine of the goddess Isis he got for me. He's so sweet - it's like having another girl around. He's fast becoming one of my best friends.

Sadly Bellatrix has graduated, so I won't have her around at school any more. It's strange - sometimes she barely acknowledges my existence, and then she does something so perfect and brilliant to show that she does love me after all. Like the gorgeous Egyptian writing and drawing kit she got me for my birthday, complete with proper papyrus scrolls and everything - she must have sent all the way to Cairo for it months ago, you can't get them in England. I take special care packing it, as I want to use it in my spare time at school.

Maybe things won't be so bad this year...

current mood: pensive

(Pet Asmodeus)

Friday, January 7th, 2005
12:32 am - Private to Caleb and Walden
I'm so, so sorry to hear about what happened... if there's anything I can do, or if you need to talk to someone, I'm here if you need me.

Love,
Cissa.

current mood: depressed

(Pet Asmodeus)

Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
7:52 pm - Warded from teachers
Madame Moreau's book "The Lore of the Zombie" is just the best. I want to know everything there is about zombies! I'm going to ask her to sign my copy. It's not every school has a famous person teaching at it! Hogwarts is so fortunate.

And reading the book means I learned her first name. Eveline. Isn't that a beautiful name? *swoons*

current mood: giddy

(16 naughty kitty scratches | Pet Asmodeus)

Sunday, December 26th, 2004
7:45 pm - Private *heavily warded from everyone*
With the exceptions of Jason Travers and Caleb Macnair (and Asmodeus who really doesn't count because he's a cat, and Regulus sometimes, I suppose)

BOYS SUCK.

current mood: enraged

(Pet Asmodeus)

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
11:00 pm - Private to Slytherins
I've just heard some Gryffindor girls in the corridor talking about the wildest thing!

You know that annoying cow Marlene McKinnon? The one who thinks she's an Auror? Apparently she woke up with a dead Hippogryff in her bed or something! Funny choice of bedmate. Ha!

I say, kudos to whoever did it. Stupid bitch deserves whatever she gets. She's mean and ugly, and her hairstyle is a poor imitation of my own. I hear the horrid girl sleeps with curlers in her hair. Mine is naturally curly.

current mood: smug

(2 naughty kitty scratches | Pet Asmodeus)

Saturday, December 18th, 2004
7:22 am - Private to Madame Moreau
I'm so sorry for skipping your class, Madame. I don't know what came over me... it's not something that's a habit of mine, and it will never happen again.

I've got the notes from the last lesson from a fellow student, Jason Travers, and I will do my best to catch up.

Again, my apologies, Professor Moreau. Please forgive me.

~ Narcissa M. Black.

current mood: apologetic

(1 naughty kitty scratch | Pet Asmodeus)


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